By now you should have a pretty ample list of self defeating thoughts and practices that your life would be better lived without. I’ll share one of mine.
I often question my worth to other people. Thoughts like “They’re not really listening.” and “They’re just being nice.” kept me from doing a lot for years. I could write volumes about my childhood,friendships, failed relationships… The fact is I don’t trust people, and I trust my taste in people even less. Don’t get me wrong, I have made some amazing friends over the years, cultivated bonds that will never break, but I can count the number of people who I can say truly know me on one hand. What’s worse, is that even those few people know a version of me that doesn’t even exist anymore, and I haven’t been able to trust myself enough to let anyone else get to know all of me.
They say the first step to solving a problem is admitting you
have one. As it relates to trust, the second step is making a conscious, active effort toward earning that trust. Consider this my second step. I’m opening this window so you can see my inner sanctum; the mess, the clutter, the confusion, and contradiction. This is me. Up there, that’s a major character flaw. Do with it what you will.
I am an open book, I just so happen to be written in hieroglyphs that have yet to be translated into any common tongue. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I’m protected by a force field that prevents entry and exit. I wish someone could find their way in, but even I don’t have the map that can lead a willing party to the very open front door.
I have trust issues.
All of these life lessons I’ve shared with you are lessons that I have just learned, or that I am trying to apply in my own journey through this life.I want and need to trust the people I care about such that my relationships can grow even stronger. Trust is the cornerstone and foundation of every relationship. It is your responsibility to yourself to earn, foster, and share it willingly. I’m not saying that everyone deserves your trust, or that everyone is worth the effort you could put into earning the trust of someone who has proven themselves worthy of that honor. I am saying that you are deserving of your own trust, and that you owe it to yourself to be open to the people you have chosen to include in your life. Life is too short to spend in a protective bubble of your own making. A little trust goes a long way.
Do More. Require Better.
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